appendix and heat

well, this last week has been crazy... once again, my body has showed me how much it hates me...

**BEWARE** THIS POST MAY HAVE SOME TMI MOMENTS, SO SHOULD YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH OR JUST NOT CARE TO HEAR ABOUT THE INNER WORKINGS ON MY BODY!!!!!

so on thursday, i went into the ER compaining on how i hadnt been able to have a bowel movement in nearly 7 days. yeah, that is NOT fun in itself... i figured maybe it had to do with the lack of fiber in my diet due to the high protien i have to have... gene stayed home, as i really figured they would give me a lovely suppository, and i would end up feeling better in a few hours.

side note, i never realized how freaking much it hurts not going number two... then again, it could've been my inflammed appendix, but im getting ahead of myself...

so, after consulting with my personal doctor, or rather my great, childhood friend, who happens to be a suergon and will tell me to go do something when i dont wanna hear it, i headed to the ER to get my lovely poop medicine.. well, after informing them of my amazing and heartwarming history with Crohns, they decided they wanted to do a CT scan...

now, i normally request unless its ABSOLUTELY necessary, they dont give me a CT...

http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/computed-tomography-ct-scan-of-the-body

you really dont want to get many CTs or X-Rays, if you can avoid it.. i mean, you dont want that much radiation in your body! so, pre crohn's "official" diagnosis, i was getting a CT scan at least once a month.. they were pretty free about filling my body with radiation because they didnt know what was going on! so im pretty hell bent now about not getting a CT unless they are worried about a blockage or something..

which was a possiblity with the amount of pain i was in, along with other symptoms.. so they did the CT, and within 30 mins of coming back to my room, my ER doctor came in a looked pretty serious... she told me "your CT scan was abnormal, and im having the suregon come down and review your films."

being the dosages of Ativan. I started panicking!! i mean, i knew i was in a lot of pain, but at this point, i was freaking the eff out... she came back in and said "well, it looks like your appendix is inflammed, along with the intestines (or colon, im not sure). the suregon will be in here in a moment to discuss surgery." i immediately got on the phone and called gene to come down. i mean, at this point, they were discussing surgery! i mean, i was thinking i was going to get some sort of enema or suppository, and here they are discussing cutting me open!!! seriously?? cant i catch a freaking break!?!

well, the surgeon came into the room, and from start to finish, i was in the OR within 40 mins. honeslty, i dont remember much after that, except i refused to take out my lip ring because i didnt want the hole to close (the anestesiolgist was NOT happy about that.. but im stubborn. they let me keep it in!), crying for gene post-op and confused about where i was..

i guess the surgery was only suppose to take 30-50 mins, but due to my inflammed innards and whatnot, the whole thing lasted 3 hrs. gene's grandma came and sat with him, which im really thankful for... i guess they didnt even update him till 1.5 hrs in, which is totally unacceptable! i mean, if gene was in there for 5 minutes more that i expected, i would freaking be banging on the OR doors.. but gene said he raised a little hell to find out wtf was going on with his wife, which is oddly sweet.. oh, the things i find romantic!

well, i was in the hospital from thursday night till sunday afternoon.. oddly enough, i wasnt feeling too crappy till sunday afternoon when they let me go home.. my mom came by sunday and helped put away some laundry while i laid in bed and hurt, complained, and sweat. idk if you remember, but it was stupid hot out that weekend...

which is awesome. and by awesome, i mean the stupidest and most hateful thing in the world. i hate the heat. anything over 70, and i vote to turn on the AC... gene and i have had the AC running
since may with shouldnt be a suprise if you know us evena  little.. i was happy to have the AC running crazy in our room, which made the nurses and staff come check up on me more than usual.. hey, i would've done the same thing!!

so here we are a week later, and im still in a decent amount a pain.. im finding that its a completely different type of pain than the sleeve, so i wasnt ready for it at all... in fact, the pain has been getting a little worse over the last few days, but i figure its all normal so im just sticking to my belly ice packs and pain meds... i showed aidan my scar and he was excited about that... little boys love that kinda thing!!

a bit of a setback...

well, looks like the healing isn't going as it should be... which shouldn't be surprising, but lo and behold,  still as frustrating...

about 3 weeks ago, i started vomiting anytime i ate or drank. i was aware that this could be a problem going INTO the surgery, but this just seemed excessive. i slowed down my eating and drinking, went back to mushy foods, etc... Dr. Halpin said that this could be all normal, but i really don't feel like it is..

so on Wednesday, i went to the ER after getting some blood tests results, and being dehydrated. i was TOLD that i could get the upper GI that night if we went all the way to Good Sam from Oregon City, but yet again, there was some crap miscommunication.

this morning, i went and got the upper GI, and in the process of drinking the contrast, i threw it up.. SHOCKING. ugh. the radiologist who took the series was somewhat concerned with why the contrast wasn't going down and through my tummy like it should've, so at least now i know its not all in my head. so for now, i am waiting on a call from Dr. Halpin after she's reviewed the study, and we'll go from there..

I'm still not regretting my choice to get the sleeve. overall, its helped my health more than i every though.. I'm just frustrated with the fact my body isn't healing how it should've been... i get annoyed that gene is stuck coming to the hospital to visit me or make sure I'm not dying. i am frustrated that I'm told one minute things are fine, and the next they may not be. i frustrated that the ONLY person in my family that seems to care about how my health is is my dad. I'm frustrated. period. end of story.

i just hope i can get some answers here shortly. i cant keep stringing along my husband. i cant keep hoping for better health.

I'm exhausted. I'm weak. I'm tired. its getting old.

i've seen the light

Well, it happened... I have had surgery!

The day of surgery was rough... I don't really remember much from that day, other than the unimportant things... My nerves were running on HIGH SPEED, and I was really scared... I don't think I was gonna die or anything, but there are horrible things that can happen that don't include death..

Thank God, none of those things happened...

Post-surgery was ROUGH in the hospital... Right after I woke up, I just remember thinking 'what the hell did I do?!?'.. I kept wanting to get up, thinking that if I maybe moved around and walked, I would feel better... I made a few trips with gene there from the bed to the door, but I couldn't go much farther..

Needless to say, the pain pump was my best friend.

I found out that the sleeve causes a lot of nausea, which I most certainly had. They gave me lots of Zofran, which actually caused me to have to stay an extra day. The painful headaches from Zofran caused Dr. Halpin to worry, and I stayed an extra night. They switched me to Phenergrin, which is what Gene and I said would work for me... Guess we showed them! ;-)

Gene was with me the first day to keep me company. He was amazing. He made sure the staff kept me well taken care of, and also supported me with everything he has. He told me how proud of me he was for trying to get active so short after surgery, and made me feel supported. I really think he is trying to make me the most sucessfull I can be, even if sometimes I get a bit defensive... I'm so grateful for him..

My sister friend, chels, came and spent ALL DAY Thursday with me... Who has a friend willing to spend an entire day in the hosptial with you??? She kept me laughing and entertained, which was a welcomed distraction! Cory picked me up on Friday, as gene had to work... He's my knight in shiney armor! He always is able to bail me out when I just have no idea what to do!

So I've now been home since Friday afternoon. Its hard. Harder than I though. I want so badly to feel normal, but the pain, nausea, and weakness aren't allowing me to do so. The most callories I've had in a day are a little over 400. 400??? That's like a MEAL in my fmr life! I've been having issues getting the protien amount (75g) I need in. Its hard when one minute I'm hungry, and as soon as I feel it, its gone!

The pain is getting better each day, but the more I try to push myself, the more I set back. I tried cleaning today, which has me back in bed, in pain... I feel horrible that gene has to clean when he gets home, but I also don't know how else to keep the house clean.. I hate living in disorganization...

My stomach is also starting to heal. It looked BAD! But the glue is starting to come off, and bruises are fading... I took pictures as reminders for later on down the line, where I started.

Well, I think ima go lay down a little bit. I'm excited to see what my progress is going to be like!

fail... on POSTING!!!!

Well, it’s been a while… sorry about the long time since the last update, but life got away from me…

Gene and I moved into our own place (again!!!) 3/1, making life a little chaotic for the last few weeks… I’m trying to get the house put together before the surgery, as well as becoming the domestic wife who’s suppose to cook, clean, do the laundry, keep the house neat and tidy, and make sure her husband is happy and satisfied.

I hate feeling like I need to be a Stepford wife to make my husband happy.

That being said, I’m starting to get the grove of it. I must admit though, I do like having food at home and cooking.. I SUCK at cooking though, and am really needing to find things that are easy to make, have minimal ingredients, and preferably go in a crock pot… I am starting to get excited about all the different soups and stuff I get to make for post-surgery, which is coming up a lot quicker than I thought!!

We’re going to start a fish, salad, water diet next week and see if that helps gene also.. He’s starting to get competitive, which is good because I want him to lose weight in order to feel better about himself! I think he’s one handsome man no matter what, but he’s always downing himself.. I feel bad that he doesn’t see himself how I see him.. So I’ll do whatever I can to support him in making better choices!

April 4 is rounding the corner FAST!! I can’t believe that it’s less than a month away! I have my pre-op meeting/class on March 20th, which Gene will attend with me. Then, my last day of work while I take Short Term Disability to heal is on April 2nd, as the day before surgery will be a liquid only day, thus making me a VERY cranky and pitiful human. I don’t wish that upon my co-workers, nor my attorneys who would get VERY crappy work out of me that day…

As far as weight loss, I’ve totaled about 8 pounds so far, since I started really paying attention the beginning of February. I’m hoping to lose a total of 10 pounds pre-op, making my liver the correct size for the surgery. They require you to lose weight for two reasons; one, they want to make sure you are able to lose some weight on your own, and two, they need the liver to shrink some so when they go in laporscopically, they don’t nik the liver while cutting my stomach.

Ok… That’s about as much focus as I can spare on a Friday… Have a great weekend!!!!

man, this isnt a great start...

ok, so 2012 started, and i ate myself silly...

not the start i was hoping for..

BUT!!! today is new, and i have started fresh... on the advice of Donna, i got some pre-pack meals (healthy choice, lean cuisine, etc) for when im at work.. Im trying to eat 3 meals a day, with low calorie snacks in between..

So with my suggested 1,285 calorie diet that was suggested by LiveStrong.com, i have consumed 730 calories between breakfast, a snack, and lunch...

its says i have 555 calories left...

im not going to lie. I figure i'll go over with dinner...

but heres what im thinking... i dont know what the hell im doing!!!! i have no idea how to track food, make good choices, etc... im REALLY looking forward to my appointment with the dietician in a few weeks so they can tell me exactly what i need to eat.. i've never been good at figuring out big things on my own...

thats why im a paralegal.

im great at doing what im told.

im really hoping that i will get some support from Gene. I know he wants me to succeed, but the lifestyle we lead isnt very appropriate for healthy choices for food... i would never ask him to go on a diet so i dont have to look at what he's eating, but i really hope to get the support from him by way of kindness, encouraging words, and assistance in making good choices... like this morning! i wanted a Mt. Dew, and he said no dice.. he wasnt mean about it or rude, but just said "im not going to help you get that stuff." and thats what i need. i may pout and get pissed, but gene's use to that...

ok, im off to finish lunch and get back to work.. at least this Healthy Choice steamer tastes good... that would suck it they didnt taste good..

emily anne