a bit of a setback...

well, looks like the healing isn't going as it should be... which shouldn't be surprising, but lo and behold,  still as frustrating...

about 3 weeks ago, i started vomiting anytime i ate or drank. i was aware that this could be a problem going INTO the surgery, but this just seemed excessive. i slowed down my eating and drinking, went back to mushy foods, etc... Dr. Halpin said that this could be all normal, but i really don't feel like it is..

so on Wednesday, i went to the ER after getting some blood tests results, and being dehydrated. i was TOLD that i could get the upper GI that night if we went all the way to Good Sam from Oregon City, but yet again, there was some crap miscommunication.

this morning, i went and got the upper GI, and in the process of drinking the contrast, i threw it up.. SHOCKING. ugh. the radiologist who took the series was somewhat concerned with why the contrast wasn't going down and through my tummy like it should've, so at least now i know its not all in my head. so for now, i am waiting on a call from Dr. Halpin after she's reviewed the study, and we'll go from there..

I'm still not regretting my choice to get the sleeve. overall, its helped my health more than i every though.. I'm just frustrated with the fact my body isn't healing how it should've been... i get annoyed that gene is stuck coming to the hospital to visit me or make sure I'm not dying. i am frustrated that I'm told one minute things are fine, and the next they may not be. i frustrated that the ONLY person in my family that seems to care about how my health is is my dad. I'm frustrated. period. end of story.

i just hope i can get some answers here shortly. i cant keep stringing along my husband. i cant keep hoping for better health.

I'm exhausted. I'm weak. I'm tired. its getting old.

This ball seems to be rolling fast!

So, its been a minute.. I SWORE I wouldn’t be the type to only update every month or so, so I need to make the mindful choice to update this blog more often…

Mindful like how I need to be eating!!!

See what I did there??? Im witty.

Seriously though. Here’s an update as to what is going on in my Road to Lap Band!!

January 12, 2012- I had my introduction meeting with the entire Legacy Good Sam (LGS) team... I really liked them! I mean, I know they were probably putting on a bit of a show for me, as I was new and they wanted me to feel welcome, but I really think I picked the correct place. I like their approach to my surgery in that they are giving me the tools, and I am to take them and be successful. They are just the implements in my success. This is a big step for me in learning how to be healthy and fit.

So they gave me lots of paper work, and I did the crazy test, which just proved I have insanely (HA! Did it again!!) high anxiety. Nothing new to me, but good that they understand it’s a daily issue for me…

January 24, 2012- I had several appointments this day. I saw the RN first, who really just checked me out again to make sure my labs were somewhat normal. I have to do a sleep study because I snore, but I swear!! It’s because of my nose being broken! She also gave me a script for Vit. D (50,000 units) as I was low, and I need to start taking a multi vitamin. I will be taking a vitamin for the rest of my life.. Shouldn’t be much different than the other meds I have to take… But hopefully with the surgery, it will help me shed lbs, and better control the diabetes!

I then met with the dietitian who REALLY woke me up. She showed me how much just ONE pound of fat is, and helped me understand what foods are better for me to with both my weight, diabetes, and Crohns. I think out of everyone (other than the receptionist), she’s my favorite. I feel like she’s going to be the biggest champion there for my success, other than myself of course!

That brings us to today, and in fact just now… I just got a call with Dr. Halpin’s office to schedule my PRE-OP APPOINTMENT!!!

I know.. quick..

But here is the thing.. They recognize I have the tools in my tool box.. I just need the car to work on.. AND! I still need clearance from the insurance company for the surgery itself, so it’s not going to happen anytime soon, that’s for sure.. I imagine late February, early March. PLUS I still need to lose some weight before the surgery to shrink my liver and to prove I’m able to do it on my own. There is this pre-op diet I have to go on that is lots of calcium and blah foods, but honestly, I couldn’t be more excited to eat cottage cheese!

I’m so excited that this is moving forward and I am able to have a rough idea of when this is going to happen! This makes me even more excited to lose some pre-surgery weight and get better eating habits. It’s about self-control now and learning better ways to look at food…

Doesn’t mean I’m not scared shitless at the new phase in my life. But it’s a healthy fear. It’s something that is going to keep me from failing.

I can’t fail. It’s not an option.