man, this isnt a great start...

ok, so 2012 started, and i ate myself silly...

not the start i was hoping for..

BUT!!! today is new, and i have started fresh... on the advice of Donna, i got some pre-pack meals (healthy choice, lean cuisine, etc) for when im at work.. Im trying to eat 3 meals a day, with low calorie snacks in between..

So with my suggested 1,285 calorie diet that was suggested by LiveStrong.com, i have consumed 730 calories between breakfast, a snack, and lunch...

its says i have 555 calories left...

im not going to lie. I figure i'll go over with dinner...

but heres what im thinking... i dont know what the hell im doing!!!! i have no idea how to track food, make good choices, etc... im REALLY looking forward to my appointment with the dietician in a few weeks so they can tell me exactly what i need to eat.. i've never been good at figuring out big things on my own...

thats why im a paralegal.

im great at doing what im told.

im really hoping that i will get some support from Gene. I know he wants me to succeed, but the lifestyle we lead isnt very appropriate for healthy choices for food... i would never ask him to go on a diet so i dont have to look at what he's eating, but i really hope to get the support from him by way of kindness, encouraging words, and assistance in making good choices... like this morning! i wanted a Mt. Dew, and he said no dice.. he wasnt mean about it or rude, but just said "im not going to help you get that stuff." and thats what i need. i may pout and get pissed, but gene's use to that...

ok, im off to finish lunch and get back to work.. at least this Healthy Choice steamer tastes good... that would suck it they didnt taste good..

emily anne

before 2012

Well, peeps, its the last post of 2011..

Because lets me honest... im spending time with my man tomorrow, and i just wont have time for this... :)

I have decided on a goal weight that at the end of this process, i will be happy with... 130... Thats right! i said 130!! i dont think i've been 130 since elementary school. but donna said it was more about being scared about getting that weight, rather than realistic goals, because i have never been thin in my adult life..

and she is right...

im scared to be thin.

but as with the rest of the changes i plan on making, its just something that will have to happen. I want to be healthy, and that will require me to become thin, thus demanding me to face my fears.

Im willing to.

and man, am i ready to!!!

So as my final thought of 2011, i leave you with this...

"Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position."- Mohandas K. Gandhi

i love you all... see you in 2012...